Screaming Circuits: The Coming Robot Uprising - 10 Ways To Survive

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The Coming Robot Uprising - 10 Ways To Survive

So, dancing robots are now in the Guinness Book of Records. Not too many things can compete in the category of "dancing robots", so a world record is not all that impressive a feat. Of course, when you're talking over a thousand (read about it here), it paints a slightly different picture.

Robot uprising sm BonW

(11x17" Posters available - see below for details)

Everyone knows it's going to happen, but does everyone know what it means?

Given how deep we are into enabling the technology of robots here at Screaming Circuits, I thought it would be best if I were to share some of our insight into the problem - or solution, depending on your perspective. So, following are ten pieces of advice that will give you a fighting change when the beasts of metal slam their iron feet down:

0x0F - First, stop thinking like a meat bag. Count in binary, octal, or hexadecimal. Leave base ten for the sleepers

0x0E - Adopt habits of our tin brethren so they'll have a harder time identifying you as "not one of us": use WD-40 as your underarm deodorant.

0x0D - Learn to communicate as they do. From this point on, speak and write only in Unicode.

0x0C - Get a tattoo. Specifically, get your IPv6 address tattooed in silver ink. Have it placed just below the left ear. If ears and silver aren't your thing, get your tattoo in ENIG (Electromagnetic kNee Injected Gold).

0x0B - Be Si literal when eating chips and salsa: silicon, not corn.

0x0A - Make sure you design scent detectors into your robots so they can smell the WD-40 (see 0x0E).

0x09 - Adjust your insult phraseology. For example, when you're really mad at someone, yell: "Eat lead, and dice."

0x08 - Pick up a thick Scottish accent (specifically, Northern Scottish). No robotic voice recognition will be able to decipher your plans for rebellion.

0x06 - Learn to surreptitiously insert bugs in your code. No one will notice, and it will confuse the robots. [Actually, ignore this one. It'll happen anyway]

0x07 - When you do start counting in a non base-10 number system, pretend to switch to Octal in the middle. That will totally mess up the robot's prime number determination algorithms.

0x06 - Convince the robots that, as a human, you always start counting at one instead of zero. Go ahead and start at zero, though, and you'll always be one step ahead of where they think you are.

0x05 - Speaking of primes, always remember that five is the largest prime number smaller than seven in any base system that supports both the digits five and seven.

0x04 - Allow certain types of logical questions to send your robot into an infinite loop that can't be broken by a watchdog timer. This type of flaw always allowed Captain Kirk to defeat omnipotent robots (See TOS "The Changeling")

0x03 - One word: tinfoil hats to keep your brainwaves safe

0x02 - Program in to your robots the need to hold meetings and make decisions by consensus. Now, there's an inescapable infinite loop.

0x01 -  Can't forget wireless vulnerability. Rely on fool-proof security in all inter-robot wireless communications, because fool-proof is anything but.

0x00 - Show your support by putting one of these posters up on your cubicle wall. Shoot us an email with your postal mail address (send to marketing@screamingcircuits.com) and we'll shoot you a poster back. Limited to the first 100 or 60 days from post date, whichever comes first, and sorry to our friends outside of the US Postal Services reach, we can only ship within North America.

Duane Benson
Mmmmm Buzzzzzz Click
(I know there's at least one person out there who can decipher this code)

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